Leeza: We left talking about this mom and dad. They had a son, I think he was 10 years old, Stephen. And Stephen has a lot of medical needs. He needs round the clock, 24 hour a day care.
He can't sit up.
He can't speak.
He has a trach.
He is totally dependent.
During the holiday season, their system of care lapsed and they were sleeping in shifts to take care of this child. We can only speculate as to what happened. There are charges pending, but nothing has gone forward of child abandonment. They took him to this hospital. I guess they talked to someone there at the staff. When the staffer went to get someone to talk about admitting him or whatever, they left with the note and the toys. A lot of us asked ourselves, well, how can you do that? How can you have a parent who can just abandon their child?
Bruce and Louise, it was almost the same day that you took your child and provided some alternative care for her, wasn't it?

That's right.
Day after Christmas.

Leeza: Tell me what could have been going through the minds of these parents.

I think they were under a tremendous amount of pressure. Having a child that has medical needs and being dependent upon the medical system to provide the care and help to meet those needs is a little disconcerting because the help isn't often there, and when the nurses are unavailable, the system doesn't provide any alternatives.

Leeza: You think they snapped?

Yes.

Leeza: Do you think they were exhausted?

Momentarily. We've been there. We've done the holiday sleeping on the floor and taking care of Elizabeth.

Leeza: Tell me about Elizabeth.

Elizabeth is 18 years old. She's lived at home with us all her life. Her brothers and sister. We've done everything that we can to lead as normal a family life as possible. And include Elizabeth in every activity possible. That worked very well until a few years ago when her medical needs became prominent, much more prominent than so many other things.

Leeza: Her medical needs are what?

She has a tube that is used for feeding. She no longer eats by mouth, because she aspirates the food or liquid. She also aspirates saliva at times. She has to be suctioned. The Kelso child had a tracheotomy, which means he could no longer be trusted not to aspirate on saliva.

Leeza: Did something that I think is more understandable. During the holidays, you also took Elizabeth to a facility and provided for her to be cared for outside of your home for, what, a limited amount of time?

Well, yes, for ten days.

Leeza: Why was that?
The help that -- the help we could get is through a nursing agency. They won't permit or pay for other kinds of care. Fortunately here in California, we have a regional center system that acts as a safety net. We turned to the safety net and told them weeks going -- weeks before we took her in to the nursing room, that we just needed help. And, fortunately, here in California, because of the regional center system, we were able to make an arrangement. It wasn't a perfect arrangement. We took Elizabeth just as the Kelsos took their son Stephen. We left her with her medications. We left her with a handbook on how to take care of her. We left her with her christmas toys. We did all of those things. But the only thing we did differently is we sought permission beforehand and fortunately there was a place for her. It was in a nursing room. It wasn't necessarily appropriate, but she did get excellent care. Gave us an opportunity to have some rest.

Leeza: Let me tell you what it looks like to the outside world. And none of us can possibly know. The think tank said, in overwhelming numbers, that abandoning a child, which is how you saw it with Stephen, is unacceptable no matter what. Am I right? No matter what. The difference to us seems to be that you knew where she was going to be. For her to be there. You planned for when you were going to pick her up.

May I say that Elizabeth is 18 years old at that point. The Kelso child was 10. Last year we didn't do that. Last year it was a great struggle. Last year it felt like a crisis in our home. Our whole family struggled with that. Not because we don't want Elizabeth to be with us, but because we want to do all the normal things, rather than be nurses on duty 24 hours a day, which is the requirement, also.

Leeza: You have other children who need you.

Yes. We have two younger children, one older. But I would like to say also that having to send your child somewhere else, even for ten days, but mostly just having to let go before it's time, before 18 or 21, the normal kinds of ages, it's kind of like the monster behind the door. That monster is always there. It may be peeking in, knocking, saying, can I get through? Are you going to give up? Are you going to fold? Are you going let go, finally, because the support isn't there?

Leeza: You think we're judging these people harshly?

I do. By characterizing it as abandonment of the child, it overlooks the fact that the system abandoned the Kelsos and the system abandoned the child.

[ Applause ]

Leeza: What do you think?

Think tank: I don't agree. I am trying really hard not to be judgmental on the Kelsos. I just read they made $380 million. They could have built several hospitals inside of their home. They did not have to go and drop their seed off. That doesn't make sense. They had enough money to take care of him. They needed the love, not the financial or society support.

Leeza: What didn't make sense about this story is -- I don't know how much money they have. I know he is a CEO and she is a well-known advocate for the disabled. Neighbors said they have demonstrated throughout time that they have done nothing but care for this child.

Leeza: It just -- if you have $1 million, an hour to spend and there's nobody there to hire the work, you still don't have the nurse to do the work.

We have access to funds. We are funded for 16 hours a day. Rarely do we ever meet and rarely are we ever able to hire the nurses to do the services that are already paid for. So just like the Kelsos, we have the means through medical and through the regional center, but the nurses aren't there.

Leeza: Let me say this. I think any person here would say to a family like you, we are in awe of how you're able just to do it, to try to function as a normal family. Just to live up to this task every single day. No one's going to fault the Kelsos for being emotionally exhausted. But I have to believe that something -- some switch just went off to allow them to leave him there and how do you get in the car and drive away and know that your child is there, in the chair dependent alone just sitting there? I don't know how you do it. But i'm sure we'll learn more with this case, because, as we said, there have been charges made, but so far nothing further.